Monday, November 24, 2008

Mother's and Daughters

I listen to allot of friends and co-workers sing the praise of motherhood. Oh it's the greatest gift ever! Never felt a stronger Love. My perfect little angels~
Blah, Blah, Ya, Ya!!! We all feel this way as new Mothers! You make me want to puke! Just kidding. It's because none of them have teenage daughters!

The first day I held Chelsea in my arms, I thought this is what life is all about. I never felt a stronger bond. I never wanted to leave her. Then I had Tati~ I never knew I could love them both soo soo much. My little princess and peanut.
Oh they loved their m0mmy. Cuddles and loves everyday. Always looking up to mommy for answers and approval. Mommy, mommy look what I can do!

Then I blinked! In a instant Chelsea was grown up! I think aliens may have abducted my little princess. No more cuddles or kisses. Once she asked me about everything. Now all a sudden I know nothing. But some how I should know how to read minds and interpret facial expressions. If you don't have any teenagers let me tell you you learn how to read facials expressions very quickly. Their not allowed to use swear words or flip you off. But just with a roll of the eyes and the ever lasting sighs they do this without ever saying a word. The last year was a little challenging with her. Some days I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her. Then the aliens must have returned her. Of course with more knowledge than any other adult~ ha, ha!
Then she started high school. And found a social circle. Now I never see her. Except for when she needs money. And I think of the days we would fight constantly and I still miss her terribly. I miss Friday girly night watching movies. I miss my little princess. But all mothers of older daughters reassure me that she will come back.

And now Tati is 12. She still is my little cuddle muffin. She still rubs my back, brushes my hair. Always wants to sit on Mommy's lap. I think she will still be sitting on my lap when she's 30.
But the aliens only abduct her for hours at a time and then return her. Boy oh boy she is moody. I'm not always sure what I do . But some how just by the way I stand or the way the wind blows, or if it's the third Tuesday of the month, I can totally infuriate that little girl.
This girl is going to be a politician when she grows up. She is the master of debating anything. If you tell her it's hot she will argue that it is warm.
Jeff will ask why do you let a child upset you so much. I don't know. She knows how to push my buttons and which ones to push. Why do I look to her for assurance and acceptance? Why can motherhood be the greatest gift to us yet sometimes make us feel like the biggest failures. We so want to be the best for our children. We want to be the greatest mother on the block. We want to give them everything we never had. I think I tend to forget that the greatest gift to give my children is teaching them respect and love. Ipods, Xbox's don't do this.
Each day I hope I did it correctly. There was no manual or warranty delivered with the children. Even if there was I'm sure I would have voided the warranty by missing a oil change or broke some type of seal???

I just want to take the time to tell my mom I'm sorry for all the things I did as a teenager. The hurtful words, the hours of worrying, and the missing of the cuddles!

I just hope my little princess and peanut come back some day. Then I think to myself by the time this happens I will have two more teenage daughters?!?!
Poor Jeff! And to think he paid for this, literally paid for this.

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